Progress?

I haven't been able to post for a while due to my computer being all retarded. Classes started last night with my CPR-Pro class which was amazing. Today looks to be much hectic, confusing, exhausting, totally lacking in free food and probably a half dozen other exciting emotions I've totally overlooked. There is hope though. I am now an uncle 2x (boy, pics coming) and the MY CRAFTSMAN HAS BEEN FOUND. Apparently, it was left to rest in a bag of potato gun mayhem as my mom put it. Also, subway is having a 2ft long subs for 8 dollars deal. While life right now is sort of like trying to bail out a sinking cruise liner with a spaghetti strainer...there is progress. Whatever that means.

Mystery Munchies

Today starts a long weekend dealing with wonderful freshman and their ever present parents. On top of that... coming out of a hard summer, staring at year that promises to be absolutely brutal in everyway, closing up a very confusing/wonderful/long day, burdened with a body that can't take the punishment I'm giving it, realizing that I can't be the hero in a game I've never played, amazing friends who's love and support means more than they could ever know, thankful for the awesome family I have, blessed with an amazing God and faced with a life of scattered peices all with meaning just none that I understand...I have only one reaction. I have no idea where this reaction came from...no flippin' clue how I could manage this right now. I'm so exhausted wondering if my alarm will go off in the morning is stressing me out. Out of all this...only a smile adorns my face as I struggle to find sleep. Not a grimace, not a gasp, not an expression of fear and worry, not even a resolute expression of determination...but a smile. Kind of makes ya wonder what was really in those teddy grams I munched on.

Wonderings

Through all our failures there shines a light. Though the source eludes us we press onward harder still. Falling to demons unchecked, we bleed our life blood into the greedy soil. Our tears wash the ground with each blow. Regret and fear reside in our souls as the lives we sought to protect slip away. Stumbling time and again...have we been so foolish as to think we could overcome? Our foe tears flesh he knows better than its bearer. Can there be an end? Have we bleed and lost for so little?


-ty

Wherefore art thou Craftsman?

My life has ground to a halt. My most favorite and most precious screwdriver has been lost. I spent 30 blood and sweat earned dollars purchasing my Craftsman Ratcheting Screwdriver set (that features a soft-grip handle and onboard bit storage in handle with 14 assorted bits) and now it is gone. I searched high and low, left and right, everywhere. Other screwdrivers just can't compare. They just don't have the selective rachetting shaft, the plethora of various asundery interchangeable bits, or the life time warranty. My precious screwdriver. So many memories. Your black and yellow body still springs life into lost and weary screws. I remember when I first bought you at sears. I remember all the furniture, electronics and doors you have given new life to. I even remember when Jenn viciously broke one of your bits...but you still remained my favorite. O craftsman screw driver...COME BACK! I'll never again leave you in the hands of reckless drivers. Never more will I open tuna with your wide edge regular bit! No longer shall I force your torx bits into stubborn hex screws! And I won't ever go back to that stanely again...I promise...it was only that one time....and only because you were packed...JUST COME BACK!!!!

Rainy day to crap on a rock.

For lack of neccessary energy and grammar skills to post anything exciting I give you me after my startling discovery that huge sic nasty thunderstorms go faster than my lawn mower. I am completely and utterly soaked. All for the sake of making a few million blades of grass 2 inches shorter. Is it really worth it I ask?

Upon further consideration it was determined that even while soaked I'm kind of boring. So, I give you a picture of a frog who most definately needs to learn how to hide better.

For those of you who have already become immediately concerned for the saftey of the frog yes...I threw him into the ditch before leaving the station. Only problem is there were lots of these around:
And these:

So, unless you built one of these like I did:

The frog probably ended up as crap on a rock.



Yes, i know crows and geese don't always eat frogs...but I have definately seen wierder this summer. Who knew having a digital camera was this fun? I could have been letting the world know how much of a goof I am years ago!

What a face!

I don't have the energy to make a long entry, so...I will just include a wonderfully happy picture of growing neice and a little poem I came up with today. Deer caught in the headlights? No way. More like....WASSUUUUUPPPP!!!!!!




Under


When darkness falls,
All full of gloom,
There is no light of day.

When spinning wheels,
And clicking heels,
Can no longer save the day.

I fall flat out,
Cry staight out,
Wondering of the day.

I can not drive,
To run and hide,
Kids are in the way.

Like a fish on board,
I flip and flap,
Gasping for the water.

I see the end,
That precious end,
That gets only much farther.

To what end,
For what end,
I can only wonder.

I flip once more
I flap once more,
I think I'll go back under.

One Way, NO, This Way. What way? I like my way.

So, you know those times when all the thoughts and chaotic ramblings that have been bouncing around your head for a long time all of a sudden congeal into a major revelation? Then, it busts and you go chasing it around frantically like a 4 year old after a rolling sugar cookie. The chaos resumes quickly. Thoughts of the summer you wanted not being the summer you had; the man you thought you were isn't the man you are; the man other people see isn't the man you really are; the list of summer things that could never happen in a million years and the life you have that is headed somewhere and you have no inkling of a clue where it's going. In addition, there are those tiny little revelations that you achieve everyday that just serve to confuse everything: wow...that factory beveled edge on that pine board really isn't straight now that I've made the cut based on the measurement using that edge, hammers are meant for nails and errant peices of house construction..not fingers, large holes in "critical areas" of one's pants are useful for working on hot summer days but damaging to one's public appearance, ice packs don't keep your lunch cold if they sit all night in your lunch box, lawn mowers don't run well without gas, hugs make the sun shine a little brighter, days with prayer are harder than days without it, it takes a few minuets to recover vision after mistakenly staring directly at the sun or steel toe boots protect your toes from falling gates and weedwackers only slightly better when being worn in comparison to sitting in the back of your car all day. Through all of these dragon rearing thoughts and mini-revelations a friend sits you down and asks for help and you honestly have no idea what to say...only that God cares darn it and so do I. Another, sits you down and tells you just how messed up you really are...and that it's okay. Wrapping up the conversation with that little bit of a loving comment that bring all the thoughts and chaotic ramblings that have been bouncing around your head for a long time into a major revelation. {Return to top} [Repeat as needed]

The First Good Day

I haven't written much lately but bare with me. I've been pretty crazy the last few days. Things are starting to come back down to something almost like normal but not really...what is normal? I left normal a long time ago. I think I left it somewhere near the locality of Fort-Comfortzone...or in the ditch just outside of town.

Today...was good. Seeing as how the past say three months have been rather rough I'm not sure just exactly how good today was by most standards, but I think today was good. I didn't kill anyone, I didn't break anything, I got my work done, and had a few good laughs. Haven't laughed for a little while...so I will share with you my opportunities to laugh and learn today.

Today was the second day of having only one job. I told boss b I was wearing myself into a hole. He just said yup, let me know when you feel like working again and I'll find something for ya to do. Only God could have made it go that easy. I fretted for what...days if not a week or more about getting done and it was over with no sweat in less than 15 seconds.

What have I been doing with the afternoons and evenings? Well, I've been cleaning my room and sleeping. I am going through everything I own and figuring out what I need to survive and what I don't need to survive. Some stuff is going into file 13, some stuff into the attic, some stuff back under the bed. It is suprisingly difficult to get rid of things. I keep thinking I will always need this or that or I couldn't possibly get rid of that so and so gave it to me. I've just been closing my eyes and chucking. Somehow, my little room still feels really full. I'm not sure why...it just does.

I slept for nine hours last night. Woke up this morning exhausted. I stayed exhausted all day until about 3. Now I'm exhausted again. I think my body is rebelling against this whole actually getting sleep thing.

I'm discovering things that I've forgotten over the past few years. I am now realizing how much I enjoy camping. Not necessarily staying a few nights at Bob's family tent park or what have you...but travelling to some random "sort of named" mountain and spending a few days there. Or going to a lake that is better known by a number than a name. I already have two Mtns picked out: Moose Mtn. and NightHawk Mtn. I'm not sure if I can even get close enough to them with my little car but by golly I'm gonna try. Problem is...I'm running out of summer.

A second thing I have discovered is just how much the few friends I've let get to know me really care. I've been so distracted by other things I almost totally missed it. If I missed thanking you with all my heart for something please accept my humble apologies. Know that I do not forget such gestures.

I saw a few things today that you probably will only see in northern maine, and maybe some random places in the less populated western states. I guess this is the start of my "only in the county" series. The road you are looking at is called Dyer st. It is fairly well travelled and often sees a good amount of commuter traffic throughout the day. This tractor trailor driver needed to get his trailer up against this particular loading dock. The loading dock door is only say 10 ft from the edge of the road. As you can see the road goes through the middle of his trailor. He is blocking the entire road plus most of both parking lots on either side. There is only 6ft or so of the parking lot across the street left for cars to get by. The tractor stayed there about 2 hours...amazing. If you tried this at school you would have every wrecker and police officer within 10 miles racing to the scene. Here...I don't even think anyone thought to call the police. It was quite amusing to watch the reactions of people having to maneuver around the cab for the few minutes I stood there. Most people just smiled, a few laughed...though a few wrapped their lower lips around their forhead a couple times in protest. Yet another reason to appreciate aroostook county.

The second happening today that made me laugh was an announcement I heard on the radio news. Apparently, a gentleman working for a software company wanted some paid vacation. So, he told his boss that he needed 3 months paid vacation so he could be home taking care of his son with cancer. The company granted him the time. Why not? After the three months, the employee returned to work explaining that the son had died, thus freeing him up to return to his responsibilities at the company. All was good and dandy until the boss tried to send flowers to the dead son's funeral. Needless to say, the hoax was discovered shortly thereafter. The man is now being sued big time by the company. Hokey Mokey!!! If you need time off just tell your boss. Are you seriously that lazy? I can't believe he actually made it three months with everyone simply assuming his son had cancer! And then you try and fake his death when you've had enough paid vacation? Honestly, come on. Your smart enough to make it three months faking your son being sick and you try to wrap it up with death fraud? Why not just tell your boss that he went into remission and is doing great. Why...he's even looking and acting like a boy who never had cancer at all!! What a miracle!!! Buddy, you deserve every bit of what's coming to you. I had to pull over when I heard this on the radio. What a wonderful laugh.