Wherefore art thou Craftsman?

My life has ground to a halt. My most favorite and most precious screwdriver has been lost. I spent 30 blood and sweat earned dollars purchasing my Craftsman Ratcheting Screwdriver set (that features a soft-grip handle and onboard bit storage in handle with 14 assorted bits) and now it is gone. I searched high and low, left and right, everywhere. Other screwdrivers just can't compare. They just don't have the selective rachetting shaft, the plethora of various asundery interchangeable bits, or the life time warranty. My precious screwdriver. So many memories. Your black and yellow body still springs life into lost and weary screws. I remember when I first bought you at sears. I remember all the furniture, electronics and doors you have given new life to. I even remember when Jenn viciously broke one of your bits...but you still remained my favorite. O craftsman screw driver...COME BACK! I'll never again leave you in the hands of reckless drivers. Never more will I open tuna with your wide edge regular bit! No longer shall I force your torx bits into stubborn hex screws! And I won't ever go back to that stanely again...I promise...it was only that one time....and only because you were packed...JUST COME BACK!!!!